| Comics
Back in college, I had a friend called Michael Buonauro. Well, maybe not
a friend, but the college part was true. We met at orientation, and promptly
discovered we had signed up for the exact same classes. I chuckled at how
remarkable this was, while discretely switching to classes in different
buildings.
As computer science majors who loved to read, we were unquestionably two
of the most socially developed people in the school. After our immense popularity
resulted in being invited to the same cheerleader parties, we eventually
figured it would be easier if we started carpooling.
Being such tremendously admired socialites, we decided to give something
back, not just to the school, but to the community that had been so good
to us. Like Bush and his war on Terrah, we decided it would be amusing to
put all our valuable time into creating a fictional universe with wildly
unbelievable characters. I grabbed a notepad off the refrigerator, and between
"Birthday party tonight" and "Term paper due tomorrow" Dr. Lobster was born!
A tremendous amount of effort went into those first few weeks of comics.
Creative characters, dynamic art, and fresh jokes were all kept as far away
from our comic as possible. Instead we used appallingly formulaic "humor",
recycled artwork, and pop-culture references less funny than the latest Matrix
bullet-time parody.
Michael and myself created a site that we proudly considered some of the
worst the web had to offer (note: this was BEFORE every moron in high school
discovered how to post to YouTube). Our comic may have been what your grandmother
would call "poop dipped in syrup", but the pickings have always been rather
slim for fans of web comics. Consequently, we found ourselves an overnight
success.
Now, before you shout, "I've never heard of Dr. Lobster", let me remind you
that it was a long time ago, and that people shouting such things are widely
considered fools. We were one of the first to hit the scene, and we followed
this up by telling complete strangers that we were "famous online."
We said this to so many people that, three years and three comic titles later,
we were speaking at conventions. Dr. Lobster, Gamer Hotties, and Wrench Farm,
had developed quite a following, and those that heard us speak came out of
the forums with a new sense of self-worth (a lower sense, but new nonetheless).
Things were going well, but this meant a lot more work. Suddenly, people
expected consistent "quality." If, by accident, we wrote something funny,
our readers assumed the comic had reached new heights in excellence, demanding
more of the same. Since Michael thought it funny to give out our home phone
numbers (back when people still used land lines), we had the pleasure of
hearing these demands expressed day and night.
Thankfully, Wrench Farm abruptly ended in 2004 when Michael's character flew
off into space. His departure came without warning (the rocket boots would
have been a dead giveaway, but they were always just below the edge of the
panel).
Since I had the only character that could still be used, this dreadfully
meant that continuing the comic would require doing all the hard work myself.
Given that sleep and teevee often take precedence over any labor I have to
do, it wouldn't take a rocket boot scientist to figure out that this wasn't
going to happen.
Today, only a handful of the original comics are available online. Dr. Lobster
is still hanging out at drlobster.com, but only the very hastily drawn final
comic remains. The other two domain names have moved on to boring new owners.
WrenchFarm.com was bought by someone selling Japanese anime (the world's
lowest form of entertainment) and GamerHotties.com has become a porn site
(the world's highest form of entertainment).
It would take ten minutes for me to put the archives back online, but every
time I try, it seems like work. Maybe one day... |